herrwo! hehehe i said i was gonna stop blogging x_x hey not too bad... i didn't blog for umm 12 days:P tralala. ohwell i wonder what i'm doing online... all for the sake of beloved songs:P my first paper is like umm in four days aah! sniffles. and da still has the mood to watch a movie today boggles. i'm worried... sigh. must must mug mug oof. hehe sweet home alabama! i wanna watch it after my 'O's... hopefully it doesn't close yet *prays* hehe. meow. hop. sigh. i can't even remember what i wanna blog already heh. the weird thing is, during the whole exam period thingie i seem to be playing more than usual boggle. i wonder why. and it's during this particular time in which i have the most laughs too. facial muscles ache now ahahah:P
:9:05 PM: :sugah~plum
meow. i'm going to cease blogging pretty soon. the damn Os are in umm... well they're coming soon anyway. and my dad is complaining about the massive amount of time i spend online. ohwell. went to the acjc open house today, and i'm -soo- tempted to go there. their choir is very enticing for one. and besides, i doubt i'm going to be accepted into hc -_- man if i go acj i think i would like to audition for the choir. though i've never even been in one, and have absolutely zero idea about all the keys and stuff. oh whoops i'm slightly tone deaf. or maaaybe not choir then. blah this jc opting thing is such a troublesome business. though i must say, open houses are pretty fun:p
someone help. should i go acjc?
:10:54 PM: :sugah~plum
i feel common. i have a common name, i look common, and just -am- common. i feel like i lack uniqueness, and lack... specialness. no wonder. i'm just a little blip in the large expanse which is the world... so insignificant. i wonder if... i would able to do anything which could make people notice my existance, or if i'd just continue my dreary drudgery, slogging away for what? for a job, a mundane entity, routine and just a neccessary evil, for... nothing. everything i do, just ends up average. i don't excel at anything. i'm not sure if average is bad. but i think that life ought to have its ups and downs, and to simply go in a straight line is probably not very interesting, in my opinion. stifling. its stifling, no?
:7:19 PM: :sugah~plum
::EMPTY::
----------
love burns a deep gaping hole
waiting to be filled
the empty blankness
longing for substance
beautiful, passionate
it blazes a bright fiery trail
across your lonely heart
etching its fire deep on your soul
reaching out to the depth of your mind
igniting the cold into happiness
but brief, it is
and the warmth fades away with it
only left with a faint memory
intangible, unable to be felt
the coldness gnawing at your insides
while you float on the fringe of existence
the emptiness lies in wait
for the warmth to fill it again
--Michelle Teo (MT...get it?!)
gawd. i can be so lame sometimes.
:4:23 PM: :sugah~plum
sigh. i was damn upset just now. still feel like crying, but don't feel so bad anymore. i really don't understand how people can do such things to themselves. its just plain horrible. sigh. i don't think i should say it here coz i guess its people's personal business. but really. hurting yourself isn't the way to go. it doesn't help, and it's seriously damaging not only physically but also mentally. ahhhh man. this is seriously upsetting. nevermind. i lost the mood to type this already.
:5:05 AM: :sugah~plum
cute cat alert!
:3:55 PM: :sugah~plum
oh. maaaan i just read something real scary. someone's dad read her blog boggle. now -that's- scary. i better not post anything too scandalous here then haah:p man today during bio was very hilarious. methinks everyone is way too stressed from the thought of the upcoming Os, and we all ended up laughing hysterically during bio today. speaking of laughing hysterically. i laughed like -crazy- during math yesterday, laughing till i started crying. i mean seriously laughing, at everything anyone said. man. i'm nuts, ya think? oh hmm oops i forgot what i was gonna write. man. short term memory too! oh me and da, we took this pretty nice picture recently:) though everyone kept saying i looked.... nude:( so mean! it looked perfectly fine to me! hrmmpf. nevermind will post again when i actually recall... oh! i remember! was going to complain bout the many many essays we have to write to apply for scholarships. ow.
:7:41 PM: :sugah~plum
whee way too many words and lack of pictures... so....
oh and here's a quote...
me: "compared to them, we're living in the lap of luxury."
sam: "quick let's give luxury a lapdance!"
gee whiz.
:6:24 PM: :sugah~plum
ah it worked! yay i don't seem like a blogging fanatic anymore i hope:p oh no... the size of my comment link at the bottom half of the page seems to have shrunk! whatever will i do? *fakes a southern accent* hm this is where i say 'haha' in a dry, sarcastic tone. nvm. if anyone knows how to fix the screwy bottom half of my page... leave me a... er comment:p
:12:02 AM: :sugah~plum
i admit it. i've become addicted to blogging. 3 posts in one day? getting a -bit- much... ah i know i'll wait till its like hmm 12am before i post this? haha nah doubt it'll work :p ahh well... maybe i became addicted to blogging coz... its better than talking to a wall? at least people don't think you're nuts... or at least... not -so- nuts. aah getting fat. need to exercise:( but there's no chance to... so stoned nowadays i end up sleeping instead ugh. gawd i'm getting SO confused! why why why does everyone tell me different things about the same thing? its confusing me:( and since i lack my own judgement sense about what is true or false... i get confused! i'm tired of being so blur and confused... i'm never going to get my life on track if i'm like this all the time. blur is alright... but confused... that's an entirely different story. alright. -got- to stop. i'm flooding this blog already.
:11:50 PM: :sugah~plum
ahh now i remember what i wanted to say. that everyone seems to be disillusioned now. jaded, cynical, whatever. but mostly disillusioned. why? i don't know why. maybe because life never is what it seems to be, and it just doesn't meet our expectations, disappointment sets in. causing disillusionment. ohwell. i can't really say that i'm not disillusioned either. especially with love. everyone has such high hopes and pretty illusions of love, and when they find out the truth... well we all know what happens. well i do believe it exists, not so cynical yet till i refuse to acknowledge its existence. though it does exist, its elusive, and probably, the real thing is not going to happen to me in this lifetime. its alright... not everyone will get what they want, and i should be considered lucky to be alive and in a relatively comfortable situation... physically. mentally and emotionally... i'm just one screwed up kid.
:11:36 AM: :sugah~plum
alrightie. its time for a change, a revamp. hm. word spreads around like wildfire, so i'm thinking... i should just keep my big mouth shut and not tell anyone anything huh? yea of course. but somehow i feel the need to expound on my... escapades? i'm gonna start being really ambiguous now yea? which i am starting to be, since everyone usually has no idea whatsoever regarding what i'm saying :p yeaps. blur slut. anomaly? perhaps. perhaps not. man... its time to fix my blog a bit. a lot of people has this template sniff. and it looks way too cheery for someone like me:p well then again... i'm slightly schizo. ahhmmm... oops my friend just grabbed the keyboard and typed something psychotic! eek now they're struggling behind. weird classmates i have. definitely. save me from their evil clutches aaaah! okay. they're gone... finally. oops i forgot what i was typing. anyway...wonder if its really true that i can't be deep? i don't know... i'm confused. as usual. don't know when i'll ever be able to see things with clarity. especially my life.
:11:24 AM: :sugah~plum