okies... post number 2 of the day. its going to be that time of the year again soon. you know what i mean... valentine's day. seriously, i don't know why they ever came up with something like that. i mean its nice for couples and stuff, but for goodness sake, its quite commercialised isn't it? and all that extra cost too. ohwell maybe i'm just saying that out of spite. coz the person who came up with it obviously didn't think of the lonely souls out there who would actually feel only too acutely aware of that inherent loneliness when v-day comes around the corner. seeing people all over each other, being so lovey and mushy... though we say 'oh man they're so sappy'... inside we wish we had that too. well ignore me if you want to, i'm just being kinda... well just thinking about it. and how its complicated. it always is complicated. is anything actually ever simple? i honestly don't know. heh... ramble ramble on again as usual. remember, that's what a blog is for:p sometimes i just wish i had someone special to spend that day with... never really did. but heck... i seriously think trying to just anyhow get a date for v-day is seriously lame. and sad. though i think... one day i may be that sad as well. but ohwell i'm a sad case. whoever said i wasn't?
okaay... i'm not -that- sad :( its not like i -never- had anything like that before or smth. or like never had anyone like me or smth like that. but that's besides the point. its not about how desirable someone is or whatever... its if you can actually find that someone who you connect with, and actually have mutual like right? well that's what i think... not everyone thinks the same way. some people have the weirdest and most absurd reasons for getting attached. besides, its a basketful of wishful thinking to hope for such a deep kind of relationship with anyone at this point in time of life. haha. well what am i saying anyway... ramble ramble. its just that i'm feeling kinda alone only... so i'm talking rubbish nodnod. and yea... when i see my exclassmates and stuff... they're all in different schools, together. i'm the only ac person, and there's no one in my old group to actually talk about ac together unlike the rest. but heck that's really out of point here. haha... well i think i should stop my pointless vday rant anyway. just gonna make a date with my pillow on that day i guess... doubt i'd even wanna go out with friends or anything. don't quite want to see couples wandering around looking so blissful. on other days yea sure, but no not on that day. hahahahaha. yea i sound super desperate or something right? heh perhaps... but i -will- stick to my principle regarding relationships... that is... not to get into one unless there really is mutual like. which may i add, is not easy to find. sigh but finding it harder to uphold that principle. oh whatever.
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop. i realize i'm sounding really bitter and all. but well... you gotta understand, that everyone has their own warped problems. and mine, is mostly coping with the loneliness and extraness... and trying to convince myself that i'm not insignificant, lousy, stupid, ugly, worthlessness etc. i think i'm just warped. i don't even know what i'm doing posting this on the web. whoever reads this, just disregard it. i'm way too lazy to write this in my diary:p so its going up here. ahh well i'm only 17... there's still supposed to be a nice long life in front of me... i think. oh... this is SO wordy. shall end. really. and well... No Such Thing by John Mayer is such a nice song... i feel like i can identify with it in some way i guess. ahh shuttup girl.
:9:06 PM: :sugah~plum
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