mmm... waited til midnight to post, so i wouldn't flood yesterday's date with numerous posts:P quite irritated, been having a sore throat for more than one week, since last weds. not good, sounding like a frog for so long and not being able to sing. that's torturous. discovered a nice new song today haha, and i want my voice back, so i can sing! hmm... tho i think i'm asking for it, eating laksa, ice cream, chips, sambal etc etc with a sore throat -_- terrible aren't i? anyway. here's some random crazed things... and i love this song! there's an encrypted meaning in it, plus it has great beat.
You and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got.
Set them free at the break of dawn
'Til one by one, they were gone.
Back at base, bugs in the software
Flash the message, Something's out there.
Floating in the summer sky.
99 red balloons go by.
99 red balloons, floating in the summer sky.
Panic bells, it's red alert.
There's something here from somewhere else.
The war machine springs to life.
Opens up one eager eye.
Focusing it on the sky.
Where 99 red balloons go by.
99 Decision Street.
99 ministers meet.
To worry, worry, super-scurry.
Call the troops out in a hurry.
This is what we've waited for.
This is it boys, this is war.
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by.
99 dreams I have had.
In every one a red balloon.
It's all over and I'm standing pretty.
In this dust that was a city.
If I could find a souvenier.
Just to prove the world was here.
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go
99 Red Balloons - Goldfinger
:12:29 AM: :sugah~plum
haha quizzes... putting the tamer ones up, the rest are R(A), this is PG:p if you are easily offended, don't click on the links! somehow me and being silent doesn't seem to ring true tho :p
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:12:20 AM: :sugah~plum
oh sigh. i'm supposed to be studying now. hmm i think i'm getting more efficient at typing, don't have to look at the keyboard anymore. tho i'm still not doing it the right way, only using like a total of 4 fingers, which is rather strange. but then again my keyboard is... ergonomically erm, different. was just thinking that it's such a nice day to swim, nice breeze and comfortably cold atmosphere... something that's probably quite rare in sunny singapore.
well was just reading through my erm, theory of production of costs notes (its so... cheem), and got quite traumatised by the back part of it, deciding to take a umm break. my attention span is incredibly short. waking up rather late again, so ended up starting work not all too early, and now a break? i'm never gonna get any studying done at this rate. i'm just totally not in the mood, and having trouble forcing myself to when i'm... not in the mood.
was thinking, what's the point? seriously, what's the point in all this studying? to pass/excel in our exams, which ultimately is supposed to bring us good results in the A level exams where we're supposed to continue into the university and mug our lives away once again. i seriously doubt this. and the ultimate aim of all these studying? to get a good job for a good life. ha ha. i guess this rationale doesn't appeal to me all that much, because a 'good job' is rather subjective. but then again, with higher education and all, you actually get to choose. choice is a rather important thing i guess, but then again when you have choices, you can't decide. isn't that the case?
i mean, thinking about the future, i can't really envision myself in any job, because i simply have no idea what i want to do in the first place. the course i'm taking now would help in deciding, because there are limited things i can study which would steer me in my ultimate career choice. but the idea of an office 9-5 job just scares me. more drudgery? isn't school enough? i think i rather admire people who break away from the system, or the conveyer belt that i feel i'm on now. of course everyone in each of their industry or position in society is important to maintain a cohesive and harmonious whole. but i guess there are some career options that are simply, rather different than others. some that might be considered 'inferior' or 'taboo' by some people. hey but at least these people aren't on the conveyer belt.
maybe, you say, the conveyer belt isn't such a bad place to be in the first place. oh really? well i guess everything is subjective. damn, reminds me of econs, postive and normative statements. sigh. life is such a strange phenomena. or maybe its just humans. i think we're rather fascinating creatures, in behaviour, thinking and physical mechanisms. but that's besides the point... as usual. i don't know 'bout you, but i wouldn't like to be immersed in continual drudgery. hopefully i can break away after i get some form of degree as a 'backup' as my parents would like it. well... but sometimes people just got no choice. but life ain't that bad... its probably just how we see it.
damn this post is pretty long. well who cares. in effect, my terms are screwed. perhaps in the big picture this probably isn't gonna matter, but well... currently i think its pretty... detrimental. because of the short but horrible effect it would result in... i shall get back to econs. and eventually to math and geog. ohwell... at least the blasting music is a comfort. i need more. if anyone knows of nice songs, tell me please. good luck with studying everyone... i think i've said that countless times on umm, more than one blog. soo... enough nagging and back to dah books.
:4:40 PM: :sugah~plum
and i'm eating again... hmm. hey but i -am- hungry, woke up waaay too late for breakfast and lunch, so took a unnamable meal (blinner?) at 5. so got hungry again like... now hmm. okay... all fine now. anyway, was feeling... rather nice just now. i think its true that you look how you feel. a few days ago i was feeling like rubbish and sick, and yea looked it too. so... today had a pretty nice day, was feeling good... you get the idea. sooo its probably good to feel happy, no? face is peeling tho, darn dry, no idea why.
feeling... sleepy and woozy now... think i will sleep early tonight, slept at 5 last night, and ended up waking up so damn late. gotta sleep so tmr can wake up to mug. mugmugmug. what i was supposed to do today but totally missed, coz i went out soon after the late time i woke up. managed to catch charlie's angels full throttle tho, its spastically unbelievable but bloody damn COOL and the action sequences etc is damn nice too:p ohwell... should be muggin though. i have no self control tsks. ohwell... yea off to sleep soon so tmr can have a productive erm mugging session. hopefully anyway.
:12:45 AM: :sugah~plum
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:2:20 AM: :sugah~plum
i'm eating now... i can't believe i'm eating now, i just had dinner about 3 hours ago -_- been having a late everything today... so sad. well this is just my 3rd meal of the day so i guess its not so bad. feel rather full though, but since mum cooked this for me i gotta eat it haha. yes one of my problems, cannot say no. think that's pretty bad sometimes tho... mmm... ah.
today was just wondering about something strange, coz someone said i may just be remembered for my, ahem, chest. now that's putting it in a nice way. and i find that rather sad. because i don't know, its just... quite sad. i mean is that all there is to me? sigh... i had hoped that i have some other attributes, like... i don't know, a personality or intellect or -something-. but of course those things don't matter now do they? well apparently not everyone thinks they do. well i kind of do... but then well, as tim says, superficiality. that does exist... much, and i guess everything is subjective as to what is important or not. but still, silly things like how certain things look shouldn't be so... emphasised on rather than things that can actually play a part in affecting things... rather than just... well. do nothing. i mean for example helping people. someone benefits right? so its good.
yea i'm rambling on and on about crap again. about unimportant stuff... well but that's what i do! ramble on about unimportant stuff on my blog. i guess serious conversations should be saved for serious occasions, and basically there isn't really one right now, unless you count term exams to be a serious occasion, and well yea it is, but i'm quite screwed considering the amount of studying i've done... plus i've got homework i haven't started. sigh, there goes my hols.
:12:13 AM: :sugah~plum
ahaha today was a relatively interesting day. went to holland v after econs to hang out with classmates and get that black top. ooh and i think the black top with my new black fishermen pants plus the black slippers look pretty nice together. but well... that's besides the point hehe:p just me obsessing over new clothes, haven't gone shopping for darn long... been pretty long since i got new clothes too hmm, so yay, i like my new top. haha, sounds so bimbo. well i just found out that some people DO think i'm bimbo! help. heh not that i don't give them cause but... ohwell. heh yea so anyway, spent most of my day hanging out in HV, firstly at the horfun place (i forget the name) eating, then having coffee at coffee bean coz starbucks was way too crowded (the sofa was taken aaaggh).
and then we had some... interesting conversation. after josh left, me, yina, xiangwei and sam were talking, and liz was just listening or smth. quite amusing that we actually talked bout stuff like that, since erm singaporeans are supposed to be conservative or smth (?) but it was a pretty hilarious conversation, imho. and well eventually we touched on the touchy subject of the ah class parties. ahem. yes i think i previously mentioned that its a pretty fresh or interesting change to have such nice clean parties. but umm. it kinda gets relatively boring when there's nothing much interesting to do after a while. so we heard bout xw's ex-class parties and like, woah. our class would never have any games like theirs, simply coz we're so tame. and... boring? snort people think we have our class parties in the library la... like. ummmm. so we were like thinking, if we could try to have a class party like that, wilder and more... fun, but then almost no one would participate, and then back to square one, defeats the purpose of interaction, fun or whatever.
heh don't know, not like i can happily go into details 'bout stuff here... too tiresome and i guess it'll sound different in the written word then spoken. mmm actually i was going to launch into yet another of my long strange so called 'thinking' kind of tirades, but i think not. shall go off in search of a template for my non-existant but upcoming (i think) class blog:p also a name for it. yes that sounds rather interesting... so shall try to do it. we need to make our class more on! yea let'sgoman. hmm DAMN i'm supposed to study for terms though, and i'm seriously in trouble if i don't, plus there's pw and all that crap sigh. study study! ack i'm still slacking like mad and going out... die -_-
:10:32 PM: :sugah~plum
mmm damn sleepy now. will be off to sleep soon once i make a short post. template is in stages of refurbishing, so looks rather raw right now, hope its sorta fine anyway. finally got my slippers and these nice comfy pants, and may buy this nice black top tmr or smth. got econs tmr though... damn i'm coughing like crazy better go to bed soon. ohwell... and today went to the esplanade to study, wasn't too productive though, didn't do much. i'm quite dead, term exams are exactly one week away and i haven't studied much. sigh. on a side note though, i wanna go backpacking. wanna follow tim to holland haha. i had wanted to go to australia or smth, actually just somewhere interesting. i like the idea, the idea of seeing the country as it is and not as a tourist, and like going on a shoestring budget and minimalistic etc. ohwell... guess i've got to wait til then to see, like after the A levels. tho i'm supposed to learn driving then too, but i wanna do that next year. only thing is, so many things to do, lack the cash. hmm for the record, the cough medicine i eat tastes DAMN gross, but its quite potent and sleep-inducing. tho i think i'm becoming immune to it hmm. okay throat hurts... yet another cough. think i better go sleep. goodnight everyone! sweet dreams.
:12:27 AM: :sugah~plum
ahh had an interesting conversation just now. like how he said, from music to sex to life. actually i wanted to blog about this later on, coz the rights to this computer is being demanded, and well of course i shouldn't be so selfish as to hang on to it so tightly. but well... immersion in internet life. so i guess i'll just have to blog about it another time, but i think the mood just won't be there anymore. but it can't be helped... heh and just changed my template - again. wasn't quite satisfied with the last one, tho i really liked the stars, the layout was terrible, no one could see the tagboard or most of the links. so i think this is better. and i think i need a new fresh change anyway, usually don't wear or like green all that much, but heck, no harm trying right? :p
:12:49 AM: :sugah~plum
and i'm still wondering if i should blog. so. why -do- i blog anyway? i just read da's blog, and to answer her question, why do i blog? or if it could be generalized, why do we blog? i think its some inherent exhibitionist quality in us that want people to know what we do and what we think. because if not, why don't we just keep a diary? or it could be argued that i'm too lazy to write. shrug. which is partly true, because i'm online most of the time anyway, i'm more or less lost to the internet highway, and might as well blog. keep an online diary. but then i have a boring life, so why should i poison the network and internet space with my crap? well tough. people are selfish, and posess some modicum ot vanity as well. who cares what we blog, as long as people read it?
probably one of the reasons why people have counters on their pages. perhaps a counter serves as a secret symbol of one's popularity and how many thousands of people visiting their blogs because of how interesting it is or desirable the person may be to others. but of course there are the people whose counters lag far behind. perhaps we take some sadistic pleasure in deriving some self pity from the lack of readers or add to our insecurity by cooking up some idea about how no one wants to know anything bout us. it could be that... that we blog on in some hope our voice is heard, that maybe someday things may look up. or perhaps blogging is a form of catharsis, releasing our pent up emotions into the vast world of the internet.
why do people -read- blogs anyway? of course if there's some exhibitionistic quality in some of us, its arguable that perhaps lies a voyeuristic quality as well. but then again, who wants to hear me expound on yet another of my cockamime theories. so i think its best that i stop. now.
:10:20 PM: :sugah~plum
groan. feeling absolutely lousy now. had cramps and sore throat just now, had a fever last night. was chattering and shivering all wrapped up in long pants and long sleeves while cowering under a thick blanket. woot -_- ohwell at least i feel alot better now... thanks to my mum who fed me panadol and lingyang etc. still got a headache whenever i move, so keeping still is good:p the worse thing is is that he's sick too, and worse off than me i think -_- so awful. ohwell... sleep and water is the best policy. tho i'm quite scared too, got so much work to do, and at this headachy rate, i won't get anything done. plus i've got dance tmr... don't know where i can find the energy to umm move. and the headache hmm. well but i can't go infect everyone there as well... but i skipped the last one coz i wasn't feeling well, can't do that again. already didn't go for line-in today... erps. ohwell, shall try to sleep early today then and hope i'll be fit for dance tmr.
:10:40 PM: :sugah~plum
hmm... tried to blog just now but blogger was down. feeling a bit queasy and all now hmm. i think i'm one clumsy oaf. yesterday i tripped like twice. while going down two different flights of steps. so embarrassing, and the second time i almost gave my mum a heart attack or smth. tsktsk. new blueblacks to add to my collection. oh damn, i think i developed a cough hmmm not entirely sure how. you know, from da's blog, i do realize that my blog is basically just a pile of ramblings bout my problems or my day and stuff. i don't actually write anything of use or well, aestetically pleasing (forgive my spelling). which makes me wonder, really, what is the purpose of a blog? well. that's subjective isn't it? haha. i bought a hat! i like it:p now i don't buy hats much, coz i don't wear em. but for some reason i've taken this... liking to my hat:) strange aren't i.
hehe anyway didn't go to embassy in the end... coz he couldn't go, so would rather just spend time with him instead. haha the rest decided against going too... and seems like quite a few other people too. strange eh. ahh... the esplanade's really pretty at night. nice sea sounds and breeze and skyline too. lights and stuff. hmm and saw some people outside embassy, also ran into cheryl linette aimee and shaun marc, lookin' pretty good haha. well i think it was a pretty nice night... but then it always is pretty nice when i'm out with him haha. ohwell. don't know la. the funny thing is, my mum actually knows who he is. and she was quite kaypo yesterday, wanted to see what he looked like haha:p ohwell... we'll see how it goes.
:10:12 PM: :sugah~plum
whoaa. feeling a little woozy now. just came back bout half an hr ago, and man did i have fun. wasn't too bad, but i guess most parties can't be too bad anyway. a little bleary eyed now, and have school tmr hmm... quite fun tho, i'm getting better at the 'cai quan' game hahaaa:p mmm yea stoned, can't quite type right. hmmm yea shldn't post now, not in the entirely correct frame of mind wheee hmm. yes shall blog about my nervous breakdown today. yawn. sch tmr, better get to sleep soon...
:1:51 AM: :sugah~plum
yay... blogger's working again. couldn't blog yesterday, and luckily too, coz i was gonna bitch. well at least this post is somewhat cheerier:p haha and man, is orchard crowded nowadays. went there for the past four days, and each day its just super super jam packed with people. but anyway. almost didn't have a chance to go town today. woke up at like 8plus, and decided to go down to ny to deliver the tickets. unluckily for me though, the girl was having lessons and couldn't call me back (gosh, she doesn't msg in lesson -_-). so after waiting and some misadventure with collecting the wrong cert (she gave me rachel's! and i was wondering -why- i didn't take chemistry), and after getting a call from mr lynn that i had to go down to school, i decided to leave the tickets with miss choo so she could pass it to mr tang. so this morning was rather uneventful and a little stressful when i started thinking about all the stuff i had to do this week.
hrms... oh yea i just remembered! mr lynn found my blog hmm... hi mr lynn! this time he's for real melvin:p anyway... so i rushed home from ny and tried to collect more info and pictures on twelfth night then headed down to school. haha saw mr lynn's frogs, they're so cute and dominating his entire table. at least there's a decor theme nods. after doing some pre show stuff, i managed to get to town just in time to meet my class for phone booth. haha didn't get to eat anything substantial tho, so was pretty hungry. weiming being succchhh a nice guy went out to get a hotdog (even tho the movie started already) which he shared with me :p mmm yea so hung out a little, then went back pretty early. took bus back with josh, who kept mumbling 'bout me ruining his reputation haha (super cute josh says hi?:p) but well he was nice enough to send me back so i shan't say anything ahem else to "ruin his reputation". heh was a pretty nice afternoon, people being nice to me doesn't happen that often, so i appreciate it:) thank you? mmm. yes starting to get a little long-winded.
phone booth was pretty interesting actually, rather a unique twist and all. ended up sitting on the second row at the stairs with my neck craning up tho, so was a little tiresome for my neck. too bad la, our seats were like, taken -_- oh and i just realized, singing karaoke is rather fun. shall go... sometime. haha at least it takes away some noise pollution and contains it in a confined space. hmm. and he's sick... aww :( so don't know if i can see him tmr... or like... go... out. ahh, shall go fix myself some ice cream later, and shall continue with the preshow stuff nodnods. powerpoint slides, here i come!
:10:48 PM: :sugah~plum
...there's oil on my geog notes now... woot. i hope he contacts me soon... i'm beginning to miss him. oh but who cares about that. hmm i feel like i'm talking to a wall here... maybe i should. i used to you know. talk to the wall. or more like... to nobody. hmm maybe that's why its easy to blog. talking to myself is one of my fortes. not that i have many of course. peer currypuff. yes that's where the oil came from. will they stop feeding me so much... and still they complain i'm fat. bleh jc life is so hectic... haha this is stupid, i'm jumping from one thing to another. oh who cares. so many makeup lectures and projects... and in only 3 weeks of hols. so there goes my hols la... well, i just hope i could go to the party. if it flops... then i got nothing to say la. argh. just hope everything turns out fine and all. will breathe sighs of relief after the terms. then the block tests start again. mmm. ohwell i don't feel like blogging anymore... there's nothing nice to blog about at the moment. maybe some other day... or some other year.
:9:52 PM: :sugah~plum
oops. just lost my post -_- coz of screwy lil things like clicking on urls, expecting it to appear in the other window but not this one, and of course, it has to use this window. well nevermind... i was just doing the usualy whine and gripe routine of course, which, no one is interested in (judging from the number of comments) but its alright, for my own viewing pleasure:p so sue me if i clog up the internet servers with my crap. mmm... damn my face is dry, falling apart. in fact i think -i'm- falling apart. school is killing me. ahh. anyway i was thinking about what i was going to blog about on the way home from the bus stop, too bad i couldn't blog there and then. haha oops, i think i revealed too much today. must have been the coffee. same old nonsense about starting anew in jc and being... guai or smth. yes i've tried, and i think there's an improvement of sorts. but well... if i shut up about stuff i'd feel like its not me. haha well me and shut up cannot go into the same sentence -_- yes, i tend to talk a lot. hmm. reading other people blogs, i realize that most people are depressed and confused too. great, so i'm not the only one. must be human nature that we don't notice the good things, but instead the screwy things. yeayea... whatever. ouch. face is cracking up, literally. so's... it, its scabbing and itching like mad, so its surrounded by a ring of red angry skin coz i dare not scratch it itself. black scabs are quite... ick. yea whatever la... like no mood to blog anymore. hopefully it'll get better on sat... when hols start and... i get to go out:p i banish thee, stress and moodiness!
:11:29 PM: :sugah~plum
lalala. was feeling rather depressed throughout the day, but going down to town really cheered me up quite a bit. mmm. yes i'm sure everyone knows this already, about the demise of esther tan, a student of acjc. announcements about it were made in the morning, with the due minute of silence given. then the call for students to attend her wake. i didn't go, because i didn't know her and i couldn't pretend to care as much as those who knew her personally. but it is a waste, that it is, and anyone doing war lit can tell you about the tragedy of the loss of youth. but life goes on, and there's nothing we can do to stop diseases like these from happening... and i guess it serves to remind us to treat others around us nicely... yea i guess everyone already knows that.. just that we tend to forget. then there was a 'security tour' thing from campus crusade or smth like that. well i guess they were trying to convert people to christians, but pity, i can't do it, i'm just not ready and i doubt i can stop sinning. see, i'm a selfish human being, who wonders what can't be seen and how to believe it. i guess its all the cynical jadedness rife in this life, the horrible things that happen all the time, that mar my vision of the world.
well... enough of philosophical mumbojumbo. school is tiring. it makes people depressed or smth... all draggy and stuff. by econs i was ready to keel over and faint, sleep, whatever. thank goodness i don't take chinese, if not i might really flip. hmm well then after econs i kinda wandered around aimlessly... searching for smth to do. going home would just mean... sleep. well i'm sure that wouldn't make me any more sian than i already was. then melvin called, wanting to go get a new wallet. finally, something to do. so that nice little trip to town was just the thing to perk me up and made up for the mundane tired routine of school. thanks melvin, for the company and the hairtie:p haha yay, i finally got a new phone cover. been wanting to get one for a while now, but couldn't find a suitable one. mmm i like this one... only that it doesn't fit properly, but well. that can be overlooked:p yes, so i'm happy with today and hope the scab comes off fine... black scab is really darn scary. cheers, i'd have to drag my ass off and try to start on school work sometime. thank goodness next week's the hols, will be looking forward to it and stuff:p
:9:04 PM: :sugah~plum
june 1st... liberation:) for a while at least. mmm happily stoned my weekend away, can't really be bothered to do any work, too tired really. hmm watched the hc play yesterday, damn it was good. superbly funny and the sets were well done too. kudos to em definitely. yawn... yay now that my internet's back, i gotta dload god bless the usa by the american idol finalists! it sounds really really nice. ohwell yay, so looking forward to the upcoming jc parties. fun... and hmm well i'm just sitting here feeling really bemused at the moment, can't seem to coherently type any thing. and shucks, its itchy and scabbing, help. ooh!
:9:44 PM: :sugah~plum