no more love stories.
just watched jerry macguire. must remind myself to not watch or read love stories anymore. they just make me feel depressed. don't have enough tear glands anyway. but i know i still will... which is stupid. but who said i wasn't stupid. i'm grumpy. i'm having a sore throat .again. and a cough. why am i so urgh. bleh.
:10:34 PM: :sugah~plum
yay just had ice cream. i think i'm having mood swings or something... my good mood is slowly sinking as the night's progressing. and the essay is making me a little cranky. i think i won't be able to get much sleep tonight... sleepy though. people who talk to me halfway and disappear is also not doing much for my mood. ohwell... just crapping a bit here as usual. i think i'm not into long posts much unless i'm in the mood for it... so its just little bits of stuff as usual.
:11:21 PM: :sugah~plum
i'm high.
sigh. and its not a sad sigh... its a dreamy sigh. i just had what is likely to be one of the best nights ever. sigh... yes shall not elaborate. hmm ooh the tv show is on now... the one with the cute chinese model haha. hu bin! yes. shall go watch it soon... and do my essay later. yes more essays. that's school for ya. not entirely sure i can cope, i might be over my head in ccas. ohwell! nevermind :) it'll probably work out somehow. hahaa. and i just bought more new stuff. really must stop... so many movies i want to watch too. hmm.... and promos are coming! crap:P tequila shots are pretty nice. and i think i'm seriously off tangent here, rambling about a whole slew of different things here. haha i'm one messed up lady. wheeee!
:1:40 PM: :sugah~plum
supposed to be doing my econs essay, but here i am blogging again. haven't been blogging much recently i think, because haven't really been free. and seems like my posts are getting quite mundane and boring. but ohwell here goes. watched the parade this sat. pretty interesting experience... so i can say that i've once participated in ndp and once watched it. i think it's pretty cool to do everything at least once... that way can experience more things... and well. its just interesting, and i like the idea. so anyway, the parade. was pretty cute. nationalistic ideals and propaganda aside, it was relatively interesting, coz its a new thing to see yes. never knew singaporeans were so enthusiastic. anyway ended up at stadium cove umm shopping again.
think i'm an uncurable shopaholic or something. i seem to like shopping a lot. heh... think i must try to stop now, coz i should be mugging instead of shopping, and really musn't spend so much money on stuff that i would wear once in a while and then end up at the corner of my room. in the first place, i don't have much chance to utilise my stuff since i'm in school most of the time. hmm but did go out quite a bit this weekend. the entire weekend in fact. watched how to deal yesterday. wasn't too bad, for a teen flick, at least there's a decent plot. and mandy moore didn't sing at all, surprisingly. her acting ain't too bad too. sure, the show's kinda unbelievable sometimes coz of the extremity of the incidents but hey, its to get the point across isn't it? that sometimes we just gotta learn how to deal.
in it her character says that she doesn't believe in marriage, because its a lie. people are lying to each other, but are they lying to themselves as well? that is the question. well they definitely are lying to each other, since the marriage vows require one to promise to love and cherish the other person in all adversity, forever. and we all know that is rarely true, isn't it? i do agree. i hardly think much of people telling each other 'i'll love you forever', especially young teens. forever is a long, long time. one of the saddest things people can do to is probably to lie to themselves... then they won't be happy right? i don't know, but seems like lots of people lie to themselves... and don't know it. i think i often do it as well, but choose not to acknowledge it.
why do we even bother anyway? why do we live life if its so painful to live? is there really no love? the answers are always the same... there's a balance of both. you can't really experience happiness without knowing what sadness is, because one cannot exist without the other. how can one know what freedom is if they've never seen it before, or never had captivity to compare it with? diametrically opposed entities... actually there's just a fine line between them isn't there? and i guess people just take things for granted too. well i'm getting quite out of point here... i seem to have no point. i guess there is no point in the first place. i'm just doing freedom of expression over here, so it probably is quite incoherent. well tough, deal with it.
its hard holding you
loving you, losing you
its sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know, i gotta know
should i stay or should i go...
a side note. i feel like bridget jones. putting on weight like nobody's business and being all klutzy. except she gets her guy in the end while i have no idea what is going on still.
:12:27 AM: :sugah~plum
wow... had a pretty uneventful day today. had an mc from the dermatologist to skip pe/school today but for some strange reason the date was a bit screwy and stated yesterday's date instead of today. but since i saw her last night, there really is no point giving me an mc for yesterday when i did go to school. strange day. got blown off by 3 security guards. ohwell can't be helped, life isn't always smooth sailing. must learn how to calm down. think i was pretty flustered today. also was very sleepy, no idea why. think it might be the medicine. i think i've eaten at least 6 pills today already. and the drowsy one i take at night seems especially strong. agh gotta take pills for a month :( well for good skin, its worth it. well hmm i'm quite sian now, just blogging abit before the medicine kicks in and i conk out. yay i love music. i want to listen!! stupid discman is getting rather spoiled. most of the stuff in my house too. i think its just me... i cause things to spoil. tsk, terrible. ohwell... i can't find my phone cover... shall go hunt for it!
:10:33 PM: :sugah~plum
Pain.
that's one thing i'm quite familar with. entire body wrecked with rashes, sores and bumps, angry red swellings glaring at me from every imaginable space. i've got so many creams at home that i don't know which one to apply, and compromise by applying one after another to try and stop the itch and the pain. sadly it doesn't seem to work and just makes it worse. i think i've got to see the doctor again, after putting it off for ages, being in denial that its only the weather. and everyone tells me don't scratch... well... like i can control it. know they're concerned, i really do look inhuman now. well enough about my problems... musn't pollute my blog with such awful details.
yes since sam and da are both going to give a commentary on this, i shall provide my version as well :p anyway, me da sam weilin and sheil were swimming at my hse today. so sad, i think all of us wanted to tan, but the sun was don't know hiding where and refused to come out. so ended up just sitting around and talking, like the old times. man. sounds so... like we're so old. yes out of point. haha weilin's mum sent a whole bag full of her baking, which was (thankgoodness) low fat... so nice of her. man she can bake. i'm jealous! i can't sniff. anyway i went up to shower, and after wl and sheil left, joined da and sam in the gym. and who walks in but a cute guy.
and according to sam, he was staring at us. no idea which one of us, but it had to be da or sam, the fact that they were prancing around in sexy skimpy black tops:p i was decently clad in my sch's orientation shirt grin. i'm becoming more decent! and guai. if anyone believes me hmm. haha well he had nice muscles. but then again i'm quite fascinated by muscles soooo don't trust my judgment. anyway not a big deal, but they seemed pretty amused. heh i find sam's comments about it a lot more amusing ;p ohwell nevermind... i simply can't blog anymore. have to go burn myself... and cause myself more pain.
:10:51 PM: :sugah~plum
is it just me, or is the font on my blog really big? hmm. anyway, i'm here to report a monumental achievement in my life. i potted 6 balls consecutively! best game i ever played... potted 6 balls and then when it was next my turn i polished off the last two. wow... like how often does that happen man. i'm a happy happy person. haven't been properly out for soooo long, today must have been the first time i've seen town in like months or something. and haha yes shopping makes me really happy, and i managed to purchase two articles of clothing heeh. fell in love with dawn's skirt when i saw it, so i got it in another colour (amazing, didn't expect the shop to be open so late - 1030). the scholarship talk was such a waste of time. they didn't even say anything whatsoever about scholarships. tsk.
on a sadder note, kelly koh left us for japan tonight. most of our class were there at the airport to see him off. really quite sad for us, because he really is a really nice teacher and very friendly to us in and outside school. anyone or anything that makes school less of a chore is obviously good. so thus we lost our form teacher. yes well there's really nothing much i can say... its just sad. well should be happy for him though, at least he's doing what he wants and not stuck with the system. good for him. also, ac lost to rj to debates. i wasn't there, so i only know what i hear. heard howard was pretty good though, but got slammed quite badly by the rj debaters. though 'the best is not yet to be' as the parting shot is really quite painful. ouch. even i feel the pain. anyway doesn't really matter, i think such rivalry should just stay as friendly competition and nothing more.
hmm anyway quite sleepy would probably end up stumbling to sleep pretty soon, i still gotta wake up pretty early tomorrow. and so sad i just got an outbreak of rashes right after they were starting to heal. probably coz i was out for like 17 hours straight and forgot to bring my cream. so there goes my skin. okay starting to fall asleep.... mmm... goodnight.
:1:58 AM: :sugah~plum
sometimes it just strikes me how little things can affect people in such a great way. little things like people not calling, or not being united with your cca mates, both of which happens to me and likely to most people as well. perhaps its just the human psyche, that our emotions take precedence over rationality and what we plan to do. emotions make us irrational. sometimes it just seems like humans are merely a miniscule creation of a greater power, of the earth. a few decades is a very short time in comparism with the millions of years that earth has existed. our lives flash by, and different ages continue to develop on the earth. doesn't it make our lives seem insignificant? life really is very short... so there really isn't much point worrying over our problems and everything, should try to make the most of it while it lasts, no? but then, its easy to say but hard to do. but then, if we subtracted the emotional rollercoaster from life... then well it hardly seems like human life anymore right. life is such an irony. my hamstrings hurt.
:10:30 PM: :sugah~plum