my foot is swollen.
like you needed to know that. but i'm just pondering over what on earth to do about it since some unknown insect bit it last week and the swelling is getting worse. its on the side/sole of my foot and itches like mad. wonder if i should go see a doctor? anyway that's out of point... i did say i was going to blog about ccab camp. now it seems rather strange to blog about it one week after, and how it seems like eternity although its only been about 5 or 6 days since it was over (my foot reminds me of that), anyway its been a somewhat enlightening experience for me. its true that some of the stuff may seem rather senseless but others do make sense, especially those about teamwork, and how to lead. i kind of understand the spirit of determination and not to give up, especially when working as a team, musn't let the others down. its a happy feeling to complete things as a group, even though people like me only play a very miniscule part in getting things done, but witnessing the herculean effort of other people and how everyone bonded, it was just great la. oh but that's just how i feel.
strange how everytime i feel like blogging about something my mood gets thrashed by something. perhaps its because i'm a person highly affected by my mood. but after reading josh's post... initially i was very irritated by how he blasted everything and seeming bitter about it, but just realised that he was being idealistic, as usual. i think in some ways what he has said is true, in that there is some favouritism and elitism, but in the practical sense, life will always have some of that. if they didn't exist, it would be utopia, and we all know there's no such thing. i don't understand why humans feel the need to think so much about things, and worry and feel upset because of it. if they don't want to change it, then why bother complaining about it? is it because they would like others to change it for them? well perhaps. i'm not judging people who do, because i'm sure i must have done it sometime or another. just that human behaviour is so strange indeed.
anyway i feel what situation you are in is how you perceive it to be, or what you make of it. unlike josh, i don't think our class is 'damn sian' as he says. he's right, there are cliques, but there are cliques everywhere. its difficult to function entirely as one unit as a class when doing certain things. but even though there are some people who hang out more with each other or get along better with certain people, it doesn't mean that we can't be united as a class. class unity doesn't mean that we have to go out together all the time, and throw nice happy parties. you can't expect everyone to be able to make it all the time, and even if we do throw nice happy parties not everyone wants to come sometimes. i feel that class unity is being together in spirit as a class. technicalities excluded. its probably too idealistic to expect everything to be perfect.
perhaps i can't really put what i feel into words, but i do know that i don't particularly agree with his post. maybe its somewhat true, but still, i don't see the reason for the bitterness and the attitude. envying other classes won't do anyone any good. you know... what an irony. class outing class outing, don't you think it somewhat excludes others as well? it seems as if only people from a class is allowed to come, and others not. why draw the line? everyone are people and friends. any by the way, ice skating that day wasn't really a class outing. i wanted to skate, and anyone who wanted to as well was welcome. yeah perhaps i branded it a class outing, as we are so oft apt to to outings which have many class members in it. i don't know. i think i'm losing the purpose of this post. all i know is... i don't really agree with his attitude. there is much subjectivity in life, and something can be good or bad depending on what you perceive it to be or what your attitude towards it is.
no offence josh. you're nice, but sometimes you really have the strangest attitude that i cannot comprehend. and yes, i think you have been distancing yourself. don't blame everyone else.
anyway... its late, and there's school tomorrow. have to pack my heels because i'm liable to forget it tmr morning. hope my foot doesn't die in sch shoes/heels. i think i'm going to end up lugging all my dance stuff for nothing coz i'm not even sure if its supposed to be mon or tues. how confusing. doesn't really feel like the end of exams... don't know. don't know anything anymore... can't think anymore. shouldn't even bother to think so much, and just relax man. anyway a quote to end off.
'The best may not be simple, but simple may be the best.'
:11:11 PM: :sugah~plum
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