sigh... actually posted this morning but deleted it. rather embarrassing actually, a sudden burst of deranged teenage angst. got it all under control now. i'll live. have another writing exercise in 10 mins... school is so tiring nowadays... can hardly believe that 3 weeks have gone by already just like that. only one more month left to the 'A's. trying to cram one and a half years worth of work in one month is no mean feat. but then, only have myself to blame. right. shall be off to write some more then... if only i could stop reading american gods. but its really great. i want midnight nation too! damn and blast. not now anyway... s papers are both in severe danger of getting U for 'A's. hmm... ohwell. i just wasted an hour in front of the computer doing nothing. oh joy.
:4:17 PM: :sugah~plum
is it really possible to make a person better off without making another person any worse off? economics states pareto optimality as the state where it is not possible to make a person better off without making another person worse off (i think... according to josh anyway -_- and at the rate my econs is going i wouldn't know anyway) and in any case its just a concept, and not really achievable in real life, is it? was just wondering, because seems like in everything we do, the consquences of our actions are not ours alone to bear, and although i don't completely agree, no man is an island. well we live in society, even if there is no need or desire to conform, there has to be some level of assimilation, if not, what's the point? and with assimilation into life in a community, its inevitable that lives are somewhat connected and one's actions will affect another. so can we really do what we want to do, just because we want it, all the time? is it fair to others? but then if we don't do it, are we being fair to ourselves? can there ever be a balance...?
was just considering something... if in the stock market, when someone sells off his shares at a high price and make a lot of money, and another person loses money because they buy those shares and the price drop, does it then apply as well to the real world where some people live in affluence at the expense of the poor? well... seems like there simply can't be equality in this world, what with well to do people enjoying a high standard of living and not giving any thought to the poor in the world. and even if a thought is spared, do our actions reflect our thought? i feel guilty sometimes, succumbing to consumerism and being lucky enough to have my creature comforts while some people in other parts of the world don't even have enough to eat. the thought isn't enough though... and even coupled with actions, one person's actions can't really change the world. not overnight anyway. but by not doing anything, are we complicit in the suffering of the poor? i guess i'm not noble enough to reject society and consumerism as a protest... or perhaps its just a pointless gesture. the world has too many problems for us to fix. or maybe if we stopped being so cruel to it and to one another, it might be a start.
also it seems like sometimes when you get something, like winning money through mere chance, or working really hard to achieve something one wants, there is likely to be the immediate reaction of joy. but by getting something... it could be depriving someone else of something they may really want or need... well some sentiments might be that tough luck right, but still... i guess we should thank our lucky star really. or thank... something or another. we can really work damn bloody hard but not get it still... it could depend on luck and how deserving or suitable one is also right? who knows... i don't. sigh. somehow that didn't come out quite right. forgive me if everything sounds like mere gibberish... tis just chatter.
gosh so sleepy... feel like falling asleep in front of the comp now. the music isn't helping... so melodious. oh yes still have to go have to try decipher the lyrics of the chinese song haha eeps d: before i fall on my face anyhow.
:11:48 PM: :sugah~plum
it has begun.
:10:47 PM: :sugah~plum
sometimes you can really want something but just can't say it. well, shit happens. urgh my eyes hurt like crazy. and so tired/sleepy. goodnight.
:1:55 AM: :sugah~plum
whoo
fwah. just had the most tiring and fun day. think my feet are absolutely dead though... hehe. woke up so damn early this morning to go to the zoo with my classmates, goodness, was walking around there in the sun for like 5 (6?) hours... so tiring. but the animals were really damn cute la haha. ah then went out later again at night... cocco latte was sadly a waste of money... mambo night was damn fun tho! hahahaha. its so funny and silly and very good fun... just wished i didn't leave so early. told my parents i'd be back by one plus and since they're so worrywart i tried to go home like earlier. but don't think it actually mattered. fwah. i am so going back there soon. still a bit high and tired now... have no idea what i drank but whatever it was, it was pretty damn good. hmmmm(: okay whooops falling asleep mmm gdnight. what a great day... hope tmr will be too.
:2:52 AM: :sugah~plum
phew. the prelims are finally over. and there seems to be an unleashing of a massive shopping spree and movie-watching. okay not really much of movie watching considering i've only watched two, but my movies-i-want-to-watch quota is almost fufilled. 13 going on 30 is great. its so... innocent and happy and funny. and has the usual messages on life and hope and stuff. well sometimes such messages are kinda cheesy, but it can't be denied that there's some truth in it. that people sometimes forget what they really believe in or really want... ohwell. think the movie was really entertaining and touching too... won't even mind watching it again tho i absolutely dislike watching movies twice. stepford wives was pretty good too... damn funny, i couldn't stop laughing... and the twist was not bad too (:
oh yes, my massive shopping spree (: so happy... i love shopping haha swoon. got lots of nice new stuff now... hope i will even have a chance to use them tho hmm. sigh prelims still looming over my head tho, have no idea how i will do... except i know that i'm doomed for math. hopefully lit and geog isn't too bad. haha. my new lipgloss smells like chewing gum boggle. ohwell... its late think i shall go to bed soon have to go to sch tmr haha. been nice slacking these two days tho... tmr only teacher's day celebrations no lessons haha. hm going sentosa too i think, hope i get a relatively okay tan. lalala. bonk.
:11:37 PM: :sugah~plum