Amidst all the slumber.
Whilst everyone is sleeping, I lie awake, thinking.
Is this really all there is to it?
No, no pretty, glitzy, bright, cheery pictures today.
No happy post.
As the droplets of water roll languidly down the glass window, as does my spirits.
You know the feeling you get when your entire body is wracked with a tingly shudder and your heart develops a dull ache, and your eyes become watery? Yup, that.
Sometimes I wish I knew how to better express myself.
I sound.
How very pretentious.
And random.
It's so very ironic when a source of pain turns into the soothing salve for the the raw open wound that results from a heart bleeding.
It's such a pity, if an opportunity or chance to blossom into the most beautiful encounter is destroyed by the selfish need of others.
It's just sad when things which not ought to happen, happen. Or vice versa.
Sometimes you try so hard to get what you think you want and then find out it's not really what you wanted at all.
I'm just thinking too much, really. What does this matter, in our lives. Do people really think about these things much? Somehow I wonder why we're even in existence. What justifies the things we do? Mind-boggling, isn't it. Perhaps we should just forget it and slack our lives away without having ever achieved anything. Just have fun.
But that's immensely sad. Or maybe everyone really only wants to be loved.
"Love each other or perish."? Perhaps.
I like chinese songs. And the sky. And the warmth of the sunlight shining upon me when I come out from a cold room. I like to be spoiled occasionally, to be treated as if I were worth something and mean something.
And I'm so impossibly random today that I cannot take it and have to stop now. Doesn't help that I didn't listen at all during QM. So much for taking summer term to pull up GPA.
.....
And I try. I do; I really am. But some things can't be done. And I am trying to figure out the best possible solution. It has always been kept in consideration. But I'm nowhere near perfect, so don't bloody hell expect me to be.
And those things hurt.
I think I'm just tired. And sick, again. Damn it. Just because I missed two lousy antibiotics.
:7:53 PM: :sugah~plum
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