I have a jelly donut in my hands.
Maybe people say things sometimes without meaning it. Or, maybe, they think they mean it at the point of speaking, when they actually don't. And people believe it. Stupidly, and naively, believe everything and anything that is said to them.
Yay.
My toes are cold.
But perhaps people aren't lying. Maybe it's us, who read too much into things. Self-fulfilling prophecies? Or just intuition... Who knows. It usually ends up that way, anyway.
I need sleep.
Past the caffeine intoxication, and sleep deprived highs; comes a point where pure tiredness sets in and you just can't think straight anymore.
Sigh.
:4:11 PM: :sugah~plum
With every ounce of my strength.
Hanging in there.
:( :( :( :( :(
:1:05 AM: :sugah~plum
Being powerful is like being a lady.
If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.
– Margaret Thatcher
It's sad how most things are only ever realised, when it's too late.
Had a week fraught with quizzes and work; but did pretty well on my MPW quiz and hoping that Marketing goes well too. Psych mid-term next Saturday... time to start mugging like crazy. Starting... Tuesday. Perhaps I shouldn't go to Union on Friday :( Fridays have become my only 'go out and dance the whole night away and let loose' day, sad to have to skip that for a mid-term, but well I suppose I have to.
Speaking of Union, I discovered on Friday night, at Union, that Jared and I are on the cover of Think magazine. Like ?!?!!??! What a surprise. Think is like some free mag that they distribute at places like... Cafe Cartel and erm, Union. And who knows where else. Cha chat magazine aside, and not-so-nice picture aside, I still think it's a pretty cool thing to be on a cover haha. Yayy. Oh well. Just an interesting little thing, nothing much.
Saturday was 4 hours of photoshoot at the studio for exotic dance; was quite fun actually, but all that posing and staying still was quite tiring in the end. And wish I had the sense to like eat less before it or something lah; ended up looking so fat omg. Anyways here's my outfit for the shoot, it was a $79 dress borrowed from Hani Brown (was so tempted to buy it... but I'm poor oh well), taken with Lily's camera before we went to take the actual pictures.
Perhaps I'll post some of the actual pictures, but later.
Hege looked SO damn hot yesterday I kept ogling, haha.
...
I think I'm finally beginning to understand what is going on inside my head, I think. People have their moods sometimes, and I guess some girls have them more than others. Or perhaps some just hide them better. Haha ironically, I should be better at hiding it than others I suppose, drama and all, but I guess I never really quite liked pretending to be what I'm not. Just pretending, in general. But then again, I suppose I'm still not so sure what I actually am, so that in itself, is probably a moot point.
And...
I miss acting.
:(
Some other things too I guess, but it's okay.
Things change.
:1:01 AM: :sugah~plum
Just tired of getting hurt, that's all.
:1:59 AM: :sugah~plum
Zouk Flea Market!
Mmm. Had a pretty good weekend.
Click is really quite a good show.
And as for total loot from Friday to Sunday - 2 pairs of shoes, 3 pairs of earrings, 1 dress, 1 skirt, 2 tops, and 1 belt.
Managed to finish my dreaded BP assignment too...
Happy!
Listening to: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
:2:45 PM: :sugah~plum
Illusions.
If ever, I would leave you
It wouldn't be in summer
Seeing you in summer, I never would go
Your hair streaked with sunlight
Your lips red as flame
Your face with a lustre, that puts gold to shame.
If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in autumn
How I'd leave in autumn, I'd never would know
I've seen how you sparkle
When fall nips the air
I know you in autumn, and I must be there
And could I leave you running merrily through the snow?
Or on a wintry evening, as you catch the fire's glow?
If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in springtime
Seeing how in spring, I'm bewitched by you so
Oh no not in springtime,
Summer, winter, or fall
No, never could I leave you...
At all.
Sweet, ain't it? No, no one sang it to me (well. not anytime recently.), it's just a song from a play I was part of last year. And a guy with the most gorgeous voice sang it, so I suppose that made the song all the more lovely.
Too bad the lyrics could never be real.
Haha.
Anyway, I FINALLY WENT TO MARMALADE PANTRY again! Last Friday after MPW; the day I got various curious glances/horrified stares/irritating comments when I showed up in school in high-heeled boots and smudgy eyeliner. It was just a whim, really, and Crystal dear joined in to have our own little boot day. The Geylang jokes are SO unwarranted though! Glare. You know who you are.
Oh-the-foie-gras-and-the-ribeye-steak-sandwich-and-the-sticky-date-pudding-was-absolute-heaven-omg. That's all I can say, really. Swoon.
Also had a Toast cupcake (the same ones as Marmalade!) yesterday, the Chocolate Deluxe, and omg it's even better than Miss Limonata! I need to have another one soon. Perhaps tomorrow. Didn't get anything from the Topshop and other brands bazaar though, DAMN sad. :( But I suppose that's good, since I am totally and absolutely BROKE. Have resorted to giving out flyers LAH. Roll eyes. The most brainless and tiring job, and I took it. Brainless because of the constant smile plastered on my face and repeating nice polite words over and over again, and tiring because carrying 300 thick brochure thingies around is no mean feat. The least people could do is say no politely, really.
Sigh. Been so tired and DRAINED from school that I haven't been going out to salsa much at all. Last week I went union like, once, for maybe about 2 hours? And this week I haven't gone dancing, at all. All I want to do after school is dinner and go home. Damn sad lah. And it's only Week 3. I've been in school every weekday so far.
Though I did have a whole day of salsa on Saturday; agreed to help Jared and perform with him at his NTU hall DND, so spent most of Sat practising, having On2 and drilling classes then performing at the Mount Faber Ballroom. This is really random, but THE TOILETS AT MOUNT FABER ARE GORGEOUS. Sorry if I sound terribly ridiculous, but it's the first time I'd ever been there haha. The glass walls which reveal the beautiful night scene with all the lights in the distance, and the pretty interior decor, with a nice sleek couch in front of a glass panel.... well. Let's just say I was impressed. Haha.
Omg what a wordy entry. Mostly because I've neglected to be a girl and carry my camera around to take pictures of cool stuff; but well really can't help it, have far too many things to keep track of to take care of a camera... and... lazy.
Okay, for the sake of pictures; shall post some taken at the Raffles Place Urban Clap and the Club Momo Urban Seduction performances 2 weeks ago on Friday.
Oh and I've finally found a song that I wanted for so long!...
?????????
Damn. Chinese doesn't show up on my blog?! Well it's called 'Wo De Xin Zhen De Shou Shang Le' by Jacky Cheung anyways. Damn funny lah I finally decide to blog and I go on and on and on. What a day to choose to blog too; when I ought to be reading MPW! Aagh. Okay shall try to focus on work now then, poofs!
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
:11:35 PM: :sugah~plum
Death Gate.
Knowledge of a worlds out there bigger than you are; of other cultures, other people...
Wise words; said without thinking, perhaps, but with much thought, enriched with the truth of emotion and realisation, which may be one of the greatest truths of all.
Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman have made me fall in love; with the man, the characters, the story, the journey, and the truths, morals and emotions.
"Yes," said Haplo quietly, "I understand. Sometimes I'd like to go back to the way things used to be in my life. I never thought I'd say that. I didn't have much, but what I did have, I didn't value. Trying to get something else. I let what was important get away. And when I got what I wanted, it turned out to be worthless without the other. Now I might lose it all. Or maybe I've already lost it past finding."
And it happens to us all, all too often.
Why do we never learn.
I've always found it immensely sad, that people never seem to realise folly until much is lost and beyond redemption. And even though it's not always too late to repent or to realise the truth and change, usually it's too late to make amends to those who have suffered and lost in the process.
"Change - even good change - is hard. Very hard indeed."
Sometimes, it's just because it's hard to move out of a comfort zone where everything is familiar, which one is used to.
And sometimes, it's because we're trapped in a prison of our own making - "Our prison walls were pride; our iron bars were fear."
But I guess, corny as it sounds, through it all, love and hope still triumphs.
Perhaps it will.
One more book to go.
:11:10 PM: :sugah~plum