i'm being reflective today
sometimes i just think that the world is screwed up. instead of studying for my geog test i'm sitting here in front of my computer, thinking about this. so many bad things happen to people. maybe its true, what someone said to me, that she wanted to steel herself and not get hurt anymore. hurt. is very damaging. people cut themselves because of hurt, and even commit suicide because of it. is it stress? pain? trauma? who knows. its very sad. and all the youths who do such things... its even sadder. so few years on earth and unable to spend more valuable time on it. sigh... how can anyone prevent it? and such horrible things that people can actually bring themselves to do to others. i don't understand it. i guess i never will. what's the point of doing such things? does it benefit you? or does it do anything for your conscience? i guess not. what am i even doing thinking about this... i don't even know these people personally. but still... it's just on my mind.
and the fact that people get numb to it is also rather sad. jaded. i can feel myself getting numb to it. when i first heard about what my friend did to himself, i just burst into tears at that moment. but now... the edge of the effect is not so sharp, and things like that can just come up in conversation as if it were trivial. why? its not trivial at all. life does matter. argh. i don't know, maybe i'm just being too sensetive to things that don't even happen to me, just to things that i know happen. but seriously. why harm yourself? why commit suicide.... it doesn't only harm yourself, it devastates your family. right? sigh... there's no point... unless there's also no point in living. but being so young... and having a long road ahead of you, there's still chance to start afresh right? who knows. life can really suck sometimes. but hurt is inevitable... its part of life. can you seriously tell me you can go through your entire life without getting hurt at all? i highly doubt that its possible. i mean if that's the case we've got to try to deal with it... like we've got to try to deal with so many things its frustrating.
i think... all this time i've slacked off and not studied for geog today and thinking about this, is probably going to have its detriments to my test results. but heck. there are other things in life other than geog tests. life is not so simple... at least i don't think it is. i guess what we view with so much importance actually may be insignificant when viewed from a wider perspective, and in the long run... it might not matter anymore. should we grieve? people always say... we should move on. but is it too much to give some moments of our time to grieve? to just think about it, and grieve for the lost ones. to me, that's enough. that's the least we can do anyway. moving on is also important... after all, we can't cling to what cannot be and focus on what can be right? enough of this, i'll stop bothering anyone with all my random specks of thoughts... just think...
the purpose of life is a life of purpose
:9:24 PM: :sugah~plum