contemplation
ahh, being reflective and contemplative now aren't we? yea... sorta. just watched xmen on tv just now, and it got me thinking. mutants? what so different about them that people have to fear and persecute them? merely a discrepency in the genetic makeup of a human. but with power, fear and admiration usually come hand in hand. and perhaps jealousy as well. i'm reading a book right now, called Rising Stars, about 'Specials', people who were affected by some phemonenal event and thus becoming blessed, or cursed with special abilities. they get persecuted, and why? because they may prove to be a danger to society. but so? a drunk driver or psycho killer poses a threat to society, but they aren't as feared as them. because they're different. i don't know, i guess i'm just thinking about it. are people afraid of what is different from the norm, or merely fascinated by it? notice all the popular blockbuster shows with sequels delve somewhat into the supernatural, or some phenomena. harry potter, lord of the rings, xmen, matrix. the list goes on. many people throng to see these shows, and yes, i'm one of the masses. is it because of our own mundane lives, we secretly wishing we were more... special somewhat, or possessed something that could make our own insignificance vanish?
ironically enough, it seems as if those who were different, sometimes long to be normal, to blend in and actually live out a normal life out of the limelight. isn't it the same for film stars or celebrities? i guess some enjoy the attention and everything, but i think at some point privacy may be craved, and normalcy to them is like bliss. so it all brings us back to the same point once again. that the grass is always greener on the other side, that what is unattainable always seems the most desirable. isn't that so? i think humans can never be satisfied. once they have what they want, they will just want even more. human nature is quite fascinating really. but really, i deviate from the original point. of being... different? i never really realised that being gep was anything different until sec 3 or so. i guess its because if we do anything relatively perceived as "smart", like doing well in a test or something, its just met with a resounding "gep wad". or like if a debater succeeds at being persuasive, its because... "debater wad". i don't know, it seems like... labels, are placed on a person, or that they're expected to be able to do certain things because of their labels. it does put certain pressure on people i think. i guess the success of one's peers may also stress one out as they pale in comparism and are thus perceived as in the lower hierachy of a certain group.
but i don't agree. everyone has their self worth right? it doesn't mean that just because someone's a gep means that he/she is better than anyone else is. we're all human anyway, and different in our own ways, but really when it comes down to it, we're all the same as well. i'm probably on one of the lower rungs of the gep hierachy anyway, but it doesn't really matter. i believe everyone is intelligent in their own way. self worth it is. when someone ceases to believe in his/herself... that's one of the saddest things that can happen. and once again i deviate. heh, i think i can't stay on one topic for long. lack of an attention span you see. anyway, life just isn't fair. some people have it harder than others, and i guess circumstances may shape a person into who they are. i guess its up to one's self to rise above the circumstances... however they may be. i guess sometimes, it can be said that although fate, circumstances or other influences play a hand in shaping a person, ultimately it is their own choice. so if one makes the wrong choices... there's no one to blame except oneself.
speaking of choices. i've made a few wrong choices, and perhaps i'll end up making more down the road. i think i might actually... and it may even be at the expense of others. why? its quite pointless really, doing things that you may not want to do but doing it anyway, though it may be depriving others of a chance to do it. like council perhaps. if i do get it, i'd be depriving someone else who may be more enthusiastic or competent than me of the post. or if lets presume, later on i apply for say... law, or something i may not have a passion for, and get chosen above someone whom may have lesser grades but more passion and dilligence. and it just isn't fair. and it isn't even fair to both sides. i'd be stuck doing something i rather not do, and someone who wants to do it doesn't get to. i've always been interested in perhaps entertainment... being an air stewardess, perhaps an actress singer dancer model writer or something of the sort. ahh yes i never really admit it to anyone, because for one, i don't have the capabilities nor discipline to acheive something like that. and because my parents would never approve. restrictions on everything. expectations. but sometimes... i feel like i've got no passion for anything, that its just pointless. existance... what's the point?
but i guess there is a point... somehow, somewhere. life isn't easy that's for sure, and it isn't supposed to be. perhaps people may want to 'feel no pain', but that ain't what it seems to be. with pain comes joy, ironically, i guess they come in a package. well... anyway without the pain, how does one really truly appreciate the joy? heh... let's just all take tribulations with a pinch of salt, and try to live life the way we want to! isn't that the point anyway? to be happy? yea yea happiness is overrated yaddayadda. but how our life turns out... part of it is due to our control and determination. so... take control your life and don't let anyone else tell you what to do. but then again, easier said then done huh?
:11:12 PM: :sugah~plum
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