FUCK YOU. no one should be able to make me feel this way. NO one should be able to hurt me like that. i've stopped crying. for now. one of the rare times that i've cried in public. from newton circus to balmoral plaza. the funny part is, he didn't even do anything wrong. i put most of the ideas in my head. but i'm pretty damn sure that they're correct. well whatever. i hate getting my spirits up and then have them go skydiving and crashing on the floor. it is not a pretty sight. i know that both of them are prettier, thinner and lots more attractive and interesting than me. so its natural that their company is preferable. so fine. tell me. don't lead me on. don't make me think anything else if there is nothing else. it won't hurt so much as friends. maybe it's simpler too. maybe it is now, just that i don't know that it is. i just don't know any damn thing. i just know that i went there for mainly one reason. because of you. and i got ignored by the reason that i came for. that didn't feel very good. even worse that he chose to be with her instead of me. well can't fault his choice there. but can't fault me for feeling bad too. oh damnit. oh damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit. i still got a show to do tmr. fuck this, i'm going to shower.
:11:52 PM: :sugah~plum