hmm. demoralisation at the max. was feeling rather down this morning, coz it seems as if all of my friends are too busy to keep me company, then i checked my schedule and it seems like i'm just as busy. quite depressing really, it looks rather filled up. and its mostly just with cca and limited consultation and extra lessons. but then again i haven't filled it up with math yet. and its all sch stuff... lack of leisure. ohwell. everything always clashes... but it would be nice if we could all try to make time for each other. its like there are some people whom i haven't seen for ages. but when we do make an effort to meet up we don't really know what to say to each other i think. lost touch perhaps. and i don't want to happen anymore. especially for the few people i can regard as close friends. don't want to drift. especially da, since we're in different schools and don't actually see each other very often nowaday and its difficult to try and meet up too as i've discovered. but i don't want us to drift. neither do i want to drift even more from certain people who would rather cut hair than go out with me -_-
but then, these are the problems of the modern world. felt rather ashamed of feeling this way after the afghan documentary thing we watched in gp this morning. such superficial concerns we have, or rather, i have. but then again it comes with the world we were brought up in and live in. busy busy. was just daydreaming during lecture today that i should just take all my money (what little i have) to buy an air ticket and just fly away somewhere and go be a dancer or actress or smth. anything. just go live free. but then i have no guts to do something as bold as that. plus i think i've worked so hard at this stupid education system i should at least finish it. ohwell... yeah but its out of point i suppose. i think we're all very lucky. singapore isn't too bad you know, compared to afghanistan and the other third world countries. the war and instability and the refugees... the difficulty of just surviving, and here we are concerned about our leisure and schoolwork and cca. somehow it just seems so petty. but then the world can't ever be completely equal can it? hm.
ah still in my blacks. just got home a while ago... need to go shower soon actually. but just kinda felt like blogging first. was freezing my toes off during rehearsal just now, damn it was cold. think i got too into it also, wonder if i was the only one merrily sobbing away til my nose was completely blocked. think the cold played a very large factor in that too. ohwell. damn tired now. looks like holidays won't be much of a holiday... and that it'll be over in a flash and dance production and syf will be over in a flash and then it'll be prelims and then i'll DIE. right. argh. e8 essay to write real soon. hm. i have 2 days left to write it. sigh think i'll just go shower now then think. thinking is too tiring. hope i didn't screw e4 up too badly too. yawn.
:9:59 PM: :sugah~plum
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