Inspired.
I love reading a beautiful poem, and feeling, at the same time, deep sadness, a little hope and joy, and perhaps even some emotions too complex you can't even put a name to. And it inspires me to think, and to feel, shaking me out of the stupor I hardly notice I'm caught in, amongst the sheer mundaneity of life.
Sigh. I sorta cried. And I shall share with you the poem which evoked these feelings - one written by (ok this might sound rather strange) my TWC project groupmate (haha), whom I (accidentally) insinuated was unattractive and umm, smelly (haha sorry Gaston!!) But who is incidentally, a fantastic poet. And not unattractive and smelly lah; quite the opposite! ;p Haha.
Birthday
i.
My birthday.
I had just witnessed you cry,
When I revealed I might fly
To America for college.
It was silent.
And because I was focused
On the pain of your silent,
Chin-downed tears,
It was grey, black and white,
Stuff of dreams
And old movies.
ii.
You gave me an important cake.
My first, non-family cake.
Those cocktail paper umbrellas
You bought out of desperation;
Cold Storage didn't decorate cakes.
I remember opening and closing them
Repeatedly, testing the durability
Of your love
And later spinning them around,
Heavy dandelions disguised by night-light.
I know you'd have planned something
Better, if I had told you we'd meet
An hour before.
But perfection is regard,
Not fact.
iii.
We settled into the red plastic slides
Of the playground.
Fingers locked like VGA cables,
We stared into the confessional night,
That finally revealed her cards:
A Full House of Diamonds.
VGA cables,
Because we were both thinking –
At the same time, no doubt –
Whether we'd love longer than they'd live,
Those stars.
In that instant,
The weight of air changed.
Not lighter or heavier
But weighing exactly between
A moment and eternity.
iv.
I remember telling you how
If someone could lose hope
They never had it in the first place.
I still believe it.
Gaston Ng
from Softblow, a Poetry Journal (www.softblow.com)
Oh wow. If only I could write like that, if only. And well, Week 13 is officially over. Now to get through the exams. Whoopee, wish me luck :x
:11:55 PM: :sugah~plum
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