Regret.
What do you do, when a little dance takes place inside, a ghost of a whisper telling you to do something, and another telling you not to? How do you make the decision, and do you ever know if it's the right one? Maybe it is - maybe the action saved you endless amounts of pain and hurt; or maybe it's the single most important thing that you were supposed to do in your insignificant, short little life. But regardless, once the decision is made, the moment is forever gone, and there is no changing what happened. That chance is lost. This is not to say that there will not be other opportunities, but not everyone is so lucky.
Just jump? In the past, I would have. Without even a shadow of doubt. Not till after, anyway. But now, the insidious fear and doubt creep in, in time to draw things to a screeching halt. Once (or in this case, many) times bitten, twice shy, I suppose. And losing, slowly but surely, the fearless and reckless naivety of youth, which believes that there are no real repercussions, or that the consequences can always be dealt with. Being shown, far too often, that that's never really the case. I'm learning, as I go along, I think.
Being scared (and confused) really kinda sucks.
.....
But I guess that beats getting hurt, huh?
:5:29 AM: :sugah~plum
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